Week 3: Thursday 18th August 2011
Every awesome adventure series comes in three parts, so consider this the conclusion to a trilogy of extreme ineptitude: how will it end for our intrepid heroine? Will she escape to her American holiday unscathed or will there be last minute disaster as she skates into a wall and breaks her face?
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t the end for me and roller derby; far from it. But as I’m taking an enforced hiatus due to a three-week holiday to the USA, now feels like a good time to reflect on my inauspicious beginnings in this new venture of mine. After the frustration of week two when I singularly failed to master a single skill, I went into my third week of training with more than a little trepidation; I hate being crap at things - it just annoys me. And I was glum at the prospect of failing some more. In addition to that, I REALLY couldn’t afford to have any accidents what with my pending trip. Imagine my surprise when I put my skates on and the whole thing just sort of... clicked into place. I wasn’t doing anything fancy, oh no, just going forwards at a reasonable pace, and negotiating bends with relative ease, but that in itself was a vast improvement. I actually felt a sense of joy to be back on skates. I felt quite smug. Then we were told to practice our crossovers. Damn. It had all been going so well.
But even they weren’t a TOTAL disaster. I mean, I didn’t actually DO any, not by myself at least (good god what on earth were you expecting?!). But I came awfully close, edging one skate out in front of the other on the corners, arse sticking out like a rather cautious duck, shuffling my way around the bends in the track. With the help of the quite excellent Bettie Basher I actually managed to do a few PROPER ones – I got to the point where I let go of her arm which I’d been grasping onto like a hapless cat trying not to fall out of a tree – and I would have been able to do them unsupported if it wasn’t for my pesky brain holding me back and telling me that despite vast amounts of evidence to the contrary, falling over would be really really painful and possibly kill me or if not that, maim me for life at the very least. I wish my brain were a more Bear Grylls and a bit less Pauline Fowler (that's a character from Eastenders for all you kids out there). Is there something I can take for it? I’m starting to think it’s just my age. I’m a very reluctant thrill-seeker.
The session itself went really rather well. Led by Von Sleaze and Marie Bayonet, it started with a crash (!) course going over all the things we’d learnt to date; then we did some drills in which I learnt that I could hop from one skate to the other without making a tit of myself, and jump a whole 2 centimetres from the ground on both skates at once (I can almost hear your gasps of admiration), as well as skate holding onto my ankles in what can only be described as the skating equivalent of frog locomotion. We were also treated to a demonstration from roller derby royalty, Juicy Lucy, a member of Team England who would be skating in the roller derby World Cup in Canada later in the year! She managed to make skating round in a circle look not only effortless but also ridonkulously stylish, exhilarating and cool. And she completed a lap in approximately 0.2 seconds. We are not worthy, and all that.
We also did some stopping practice which was handy and reminded me that there are muscles in my legs that need a serious talking to. I did sort of get better at it though, much to the relief of every other person there as I will NOT be crashing into any of them from now on. I hope.
So there it was: three weeks in, and what a difference. I came away from the session feeling confident, excited and positive. And very disappointed I would be missing three weeks’ worth of valuable training. I know I’m going to have a hell of a lot of catching up to do – I hope I am up to the challenge. I don’t doubt that if I give it my all, I stand a chance of progressing further in my roller derby career. And that’s no less than would be expected of me, or any of the other skaters, new or old, by the team themselves. The thing that’s struck me above anything else over my three weeks in training is the amazing attitude of the girls (and guys), whether team captain or referee or regular skater. They show up to practice week in week out. There’s nothing much in it for them; they don’t get paid, there’s no-one giving them a pat on the back, they aren’t getting credit towards anything. It mustn’t be forgotten that this is an additional demand on their time, on top of their regular practices, bouts and meetings. But they genuinely seem to enjoy it. They share of their knowledge freely and willingly, they are open and friendly and hugely supportive, and what’s more, you can tell they are genuine friends, such is the great rapport between them all.
Yeah yeah, I’ll quit my brown-nosing; the aim of which was not to score points – there’s only one way I can do that and that’s on eight wheels, and I won’t be scoring much on those for some time to come – but to illustrate the camaraderie that training for such a sport brings about. Of course that in itself is not peculiar to roller derby, but the commitment required in getting a relatively unknown sport such as this off the ground and garnering a respectable following isn’t something that traditional team sports in the UK have to worry about, and it's a daunting prospect. But they’re obviously getting there. By putting in such a great deal of work they achieve really respectable numbers in the crowds at their home bouts, and attract – and retain – generous swathes of fresh meat at their newbie sessions. There is real hope for the future of the sport in the area and nationwide if this team are anything to go by. Will I be a part of it? Only time will tell. Time, or Spartan thigh muscles.
Every awesome adventure series comes in three parts, so consider this the conclusion to a trilogy of extreme ineptitude: how will it end for our intrepid heroine? Will she escape to her American holiday unscathed or will there be last minute disaster as she skates into a wall and breaks her face?
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t the end for me and roller derby; far from it. But as I’m taking an enforced hiatus due to a three-week holiday to the USA, now feels like a good time to reflect on my inauspicious beginnings in this new venture of mine. After the frustration of week two when I singularly failed to master a single skill, I went into my third week of training with more than a little trepidation; I hate being crap at things - it just annoys me. And I was glum at the prospect of failing some more. In addition to that, I REALLY couldn’t afford to have any accidents what with my pending trip. Imagine my surprise when I put my skates on and the whole thing just sort of... clicked into place. I wasn’t doing anything fancy, oh no, just going forwards at a reasonable pace, and negotiating bends with relative ease, but that in itself was a vast improvement. I actually felt a sense of joy to be back on skates. I felt quite smug. Then we were told to practice our crossovers. Damn. It had all been going so well.
But even they weren’t a TOTAL disaster. I mean, I didn’t actually DO any, not by myself at least (good god what on earth were you expecting?!). But I came awfully close, edging one skate out in front of the other on the corners, arse sticking out like a rather cautious duck, shuffling my way around the bends in the track. With the help of the quite excellent Bettie Basher I actually managed to do a few PROPER ones – I got to the point where I let go of her arm which I’d been grasping onto like a hapless cat trying not to fall out of a tree – and I would have been able to do them unsupported if it wasn’t for my pesky brain holding me back and telling me that despite vast amounts of evidence to the contrary, falling over would be really really painful and possibly kill me or if not that, maim me for life at the very least. I wish my brain were a more Bear Grylls and a bit less Pauline Fowler (that's a character from Eastenders for all you kids out there). Is there something I can take for it? I’m starting to think it’s just my age. I’m a very reluctant thrill-seeker.
The session itself went really rather well. Led by Von Sleaze and Marie Bayonet, it started with a crash (!) course going over all the things we’d learnt to date; then we did some drills in which I learnt that I could hop from one skate to the other without making a tit of myself, and jump a whole 2 centimetres from the ground on both skates at once (I can almost hear your gasps of admiration), as well as skate holding onto my ankles in what can only be described as the skating equivalent of frog locomotion. We were also treated to a demonstration from roller derby royalty, Juicy Lucy, a member of Team England who would be skating in the roller derby World Cup in Canada later in the year! She managed to make skating round in a circle look not only effortless but also ridonkulously stylish, exhilarating and cool. And she completed a lap in approximately 0.2 seconds. We are not worthy, and all that.
We also did some stopping practice which was handy and reminded me that there are muscles in my legs that need a serious talking to. I did sort of get better at it though, much to the relief of every other person there as I will NOT be crashing into any of them from now on. I hope.
So there it was: three weeks in, and what a difference. I came away from the session feeling confident, excited and positive. And very disappointed I would be missing three weeks’ worth of valuable training. I know I’m going to have a hell of a lot of catching up to do – I hope I am up to the challenge. I don’t doubt that if I give it my all, I stand a chance of progressing further in my roller derby career. And that’s no less than would be expected of me, or any of the other skaters, new or old, by the team themselves. The thing that’s struck me above anything else over my three weeks in training is the amazing attitude of the girls (and guys), whether team captain or referee or regular skater. They show up to practice week in week out. There’s nothing much in it for them; they don’t get paid, there’s no-one giving them a pat on the back, they aren’t getting credit towards anything. It mustn’t be forgotten that this is an additional demand on their time, on top of their regular practices, bouts and meetings. But they genuinely seem to enjoy it. They share of their knowledge freely and willingly, they are open and friendly and hugely supportive, and what’s more, you can tell they are genuine friends, such is the great rapport between them all.
Yeah yeah, I’ll quit my brown-nosing; the aim of which was not to score points – there’s only one way I can do that and that’s on eight wheels, and I won’t be scoring much on those for some time to come – but to illustrate the camaraderie that training for such a sport brings about. Of course that in itself is not peculiar to roller derby, but the commitment required in getting a relatively unknown sport such as this off the ground and garnering a respectable following isn’t something that traditional team sports in the UK have to worry about, and it's a daunting prospect. But they’re obviously getting there. By putting in such a great deal of work they achieve really respectable numbers in the crowds at their home bouts, and attract – and retain – generous swathes of fresh meat at their newbie sessions. There is real hope for the future of the sport in the area and nationwide if this team are anything to go by. Will I be a part of it? Only time will tell. Time, or Spartan thigh muscles.
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