‘Thank you for donating to Movember’
It’s because the only men I feel comfortable with displaying facial hair that doesn’t include a beard are Tom Selleck, Merv Hughes and my Dad.
It’s because there’s so many of you taking part this year I would have to take out a second mortgage to sponsor you all.
It’s because if you were all running marathons, climbing mountains or even painting yourselves green and unicycling backwards down Oxford Street I probably would try to sponsor you all individually but as you’re just squeezing some hair out of the gap between your mouth and nose, I can’t quite bring myself to.
It’s partly because I like to support good causes.
But it’s mostly because I’m just happy it’s over and you can all go back to NOT looking like members of the village people.
My donation to Movember has been made. On the best day of Movember – the last one. Well done boys. Now go get the razors out, for the love of all that is good.
